In a previous post, I predicted that Nicole Richie would make a worse mother than Britney Spears, and I have just learned that I could not have been more wrong. According to Harper’s Bazaar, motherhood has transformed the former wild child into a barefoot… mommy. Who would have thunk it? I guess I am no longer the soothsayer I was. All my powers have fled from me and passed to another, but I feel more relief than sorrow over losing them, for the burden of predicting the future had become something of a Sisyphus boulder to my weary mortal body, and now, the weight of having such unequivocal power coupled with such great responsibility has been lifted from me. I relinquish my power willingly.
Signed: Aaron Gershfield, the former Psychic-Genius